On the way home yesterday evening after a band practice with One Renown, I found myself captivated by the appearance of the darkening day. The sun had already set, but the sky was still filled with an orange glow. I saw the waxing crescent of the moon, surrounded by a very few of the brightest stars that had become visible. The road was empty as were the fields serving as space between properties. The thing that caught my attention though was a shift in my perception of the world around me: everything was extremely vivid.
No, I wasn't high as a kite. No, it wasn't necessarily the beauty of environment around me despite the fact that its beauty was undeniable. No, my perception shifted. Why?
After the band practice I had just attended had concluded, I stayed and talked a bit about the link between creativity and skill. One thing that I shared was that my experiences have led me to conclude that in music (and really any form of art), it is not the musician that plays the instrument, but it is the instrument that plays the musician. It is as much a part of us as the blood in our veins and the breath in our lungs, so when some say that "music saved my life," rest assured that they mean it.
The same thing happens during worship. As God fills you, like blood in your veins, He works His way through your whole body. Enhanced clarity of Him translates into a difference in the clarity of the world around you. He is a fundamental essential to our well being. He is not just an idea; after all, ideas are useless without someone to deploy them. He is, however, the perfect embodiment of some of the most unfathomable ideas known to man. When we get a clearer picture of Him, we begin to understand these ideas a little more - ideas of eternity, love, darkness, and so much more.
Lately, I have been struggling to understand the nature of this vividness that comes with walking closer with Him, why for so long I have lived in a fog, the world around me obscure and blurry. I fall short in my understanding this cacophonous in two ways: firstly, in my understanding of what creates the fog and how it came to me or vice versa, and secondly, in my understanding of how the fog clears. Here is my thought.
Have you ever experienced a panic attack? I have. Shallow breathing, savage thoughts of impending silence, an urge to scream at the top of my lungs in frantic distress, and the desire to simply shut my eyes to shut out everything else. In a word, it is what happens when fear enters the body. When fear enters the body, nothing else matters but safety, isolation, escape. Do not misunderstand me: these three things are not bad in the slightest, not that I need to inform you of that. In fact, they are essential... but they are not God, and neither are we; therefore, attempting to provide for ourselves something that we have none to give is futile at best. This is the nature of fog, blurry vision, inability to see past ten feet around you.
Do not be afraid. Where light shines, darkness flees. Christ is love in the flesh, and He is already casting out fear. The fog is lifting. You are not alone. God goes before you, and He is faithful to either bring you out of the fog or dispel it like a shadow. The one who makes you fear will soon be crushed under His feet. Our war is not with men but in the Spirit. Deception is greater than flesh and bone, and so is the remedy.